14 · Ask before a changeEarly years home play · W3–4 · Cards / 14 ask before a change

14 · Ask before a change

Say this, or use your own words

May I change this part, or shall it stay?

Ready in a moment

An actual available wanted drawing, or a fresh broad adult-made mark. Keep each maker's ownership clear.

Try a little play

1. Show which part belongs to whom. If there is no earlier drawing, make a new adult-owned doorway mark now.
2. Ask the opening before altering the chosen part. Keep yes, no, another idea and no response distinct.
3. Follow a clear answer. After an unclear response, leave the part as it is and offer a pause.
4. Offer the child a turn to ask about your mark, or finish. Saying no does not require a reason.

Choose a useful route

• Communication: Use the child's existing yes/no or selection system. Ask about one specific change, such as a doorway's position, and wait. Confirm consent before acting; silence or an ambiguous gesture is not permission.
• Making or paper: Place a new possible version beside the original on the change aid. Ask before replacing an original mark. The child may direct an adult's pencil; that help stays named separately.
• Observe or imagine: Tell a scene in which one imaginary maker asks another to add a window. Offer keep or change as named choices. A fictional consent exchange does not establish consent for changing a real child's work.

Two fictional ideas to borrow

• Art fiction: An adult asks to add a pretend roof to the child's drawn room. The child chooses no. They continue playing with the existing room; the adult leaves the page alone.
• Community fiction: Two imaginary makers plan a shared room. One asks to shift a doorway and the other proposes a separate entrance. No real building or person's access is changed.

Notice, then choose the next move

Notice an actual request, response and respected action. If adult speed crowded out the response, slow the invitation and ask one specific question next time.

Later fresh start: Use a fresh adult-owned mark and invite one change request. Earlier consent never carries automatically to a new action.

Optional extra: Invent a visitor who changes its mind. Agree a new clear choice before continuing; no performance or real personal story is needed.

Adult intention: Practise asking, listening and respecting a decision in shared play.

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